A Victim
by danielle11
Summary: Sara faces her past and her present (G/S presence) R+R
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1 'Sara, Sara?'  
  
Nick had been knocking on the door for at least 10 minutes now, and he could feel the panic surging through his body. "It's not like Sara to be late" he thought.  
  
'Alright, alright, I'm coming ..  
  
At last, and she sounds ok he thought.  
  
'Nick? What are you doing here?'  
  
'You didn't show up for work, is something wrong?'  
  
'No, I overslept'  
  
'That's not like you Sara.' He studied her features. She was just as surprised by the event as he was. Her lips felt really dry and even though she knew she shouldn't, she couldn't help but lick them. Nick noticed this.  
  
'Your lips dry, huh? Licking them is the worst thing to do.  
  
'I know, it's weird they taste really sweet'  
  
'Probably leftover sugar from all the soft drinks you've been drinking. Can I come in?'  
  
'Oh, um, sure. What time is it?'  
  
'You're 20 minutes late.'  
  
'Oh, shit!'  
  
'Don't worry, it's a slow night. Just a couple of robberies, nothing interesting.'  
  
'I'm just going to get changed ok.'  
  
'Sure.' As Sara disappeared into her bedroom, Nick started to look around the apartment. He couldn't help but think that Grissom would love to be here instead. It was then that he noticed the envelope, with 'Sara' written in strong, smooth handwriting.  
  
'Hey Sara'  
  
'Yeah'  
  
'You've got a note here.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'Looks like a love letter to me.'  
  
'What the hell are you going on about?'  
  
'Is it from Hank? - Or maybe Grissom he thought.  
  
Sara stumbled into the lounge room and snatched the envelope off a thoroughly amused Nick. He was like her brother, but sometimes he could be as annoying as hell. Sara lifted the envelope, it felt empty. Then the realization hit her.  
  
'Hey, Nick' she said to the guy who was already helping himself to the contents of her fridge. 'This note wasn't here yesterday.'  
  
'How do you know?'  
  
'Because I spilt coffee all over this bench and had to clean it up. I would have noticed it, plus it would have been soaking wet.'  
  
'So whoever's been in your apartment in the last 24 hours is your secret admirer.'  
  
'No-one's been in here Nick. Or I haven't let them in.' Nick looked up from his bag of chips. He realized what she was getting at.  
  
'Don't open it, we'll take it down to the lab. Come on, I'll give you a lift.' With that, Nick and his packet of chips were gone. Sara followed. It's probably nothing she thought, but she knew in her gut that was a lie. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
'Hey Catherine, this must be the slowest night on record' stated Warrick.  
  
'God, I know. Hey Gris- you finished your case?'  
  
Grissom looked up distractedly, he was too busy thinking about Sara. -'What? Sorry Catherine I wasn't listening.'  
  
'Never mind, hey shouldn't Nick be back with Sara by now?'  
  
'I know man, he went for her almost an hour ago.'  
  
'Guys, you need to come and have a look at this.'  
  
'Nicky, where the hell have you been?'  
  
'Come on, I'll fill you in on the way.'  
  
Sara was waiting for them in Trace. She had already given Greg a very clear look that said- 'even try to talk to me and I'll introduce your head to your pancreas.' Greg knew when to shut up and just work.  
  
'Nicky, did you open the envelope?'  
  
'Yeah, Sara did.' Gil opened his mouth to reprimand him for letting her do that but Nick realized what was about to come his way and started talking again. 'We dusted the envelope for prints.'  
  
'And..'  
  
'Nothing.'  
  
'Ok, firstly I need a vodka and orange. Secondly, what was in the envelope?'  
  
'An eyelash, Greg's running it through the database for a match as we speak.'  
  
'Hey Sara, I've got a match.' The other 4 CSI's walked into the room. Damn thought Greg.  
  
'Well whose is it?' asked Grissom  
  
'Well it's a male, he's from San Francisco and he doesn't have a criminal record.'  
  
'Greg someone broke into my apartment while I was sleeping. I'm not in the mood for your games.'  
  
'Ok. He's a firefighter by the name of Justin Rossman.' Externally, Sara went three shades lighter. Internally, she wanted to throw up. The others sat down around the table. Sara stood up, she didn't want her face to betray her.  
  
'Greg, can you give us some privacy and don't mention this to anyone.'  
  
'Sure boss.'  
  
Warrick was the first to talk. 'So did this Justin guy do it?'  
  
'No, it was too obvious. The eyelash was planted. I mean what kind of criminal leaves his own eyelash in an envelope for us to find?'  
  
'So the eyelash was planted.why?'  
  
'He's sending us a message.'  
  
'Ok, so what is it?'  
  
'Maybe Sara can tell us', stated Grissom as he gave Sara one of his piercing gazes with his blue eyes. Sara looked away, she knew she couldn't lie directly to him.  
  
'I don't know what you're talking about.' All 4 CSI's were trained and experienced in spotting a liar and Sara was definitely holding something back.  
  
'Sara someone is sending you this message. Whatever you're not telling us is probably the secret to figuring out what that message is.'  
  
'And I'm telling you, I have no idea what this is about.'  
  
'Bull'  
  
'Ok', Catherine felt the need to intervene. The last thing they needed was Gil and Sara fighting. 'Who is this Justin guy?'  
  
'He's an acquaintance. He's a San Francisco fireman, I was a San Francisco CSI. We worked together a couple of times.'  
  
'Sara, you're a terrible liar. Level with us', Grissom wanted to say level with me, 'Who is this guy..because I can always call your old boss in California and see what he knows.'  
  
Sara cringed. 'He, he and I, he's an ex-boyfriend.' This time it was Grissom's turn to cringe, Catherine and Nick both noticed it.  
  
'How long?' asked Warrick.  
  
'I don't have to tell you that'. Suddenly Grissom turned into the investigator.  
  
'Yes, you do Sara. You are officially a potential victim, so start filling in the blanks for us.'  
  
'12 months, I moved in with him after 4 months. 6 months later I left him.'  
  
'Ok. So our suspect is sending Sara the eyelash of an ex-boyfriend'. Nick still thought she was holding something back but he decided to drop it and move on, for the moment at least. 'So what's the message?'  
  
'Something to do with her past?'  
  
'Maybe he's telling her he's been following her?'  
  
'Could be a jealous lover.'  
  
'Or psychopath.' Everyone paused after this statement.  
  
'I'll call Brass. Get a couple of guys on detail.'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Sara, I'm not having this argument with you.'  
  
'Whatever, I'm going home.'  
  
'I don't want you going back there Sara, he can get in', Grissom said.  
  
'If he wanted to hurt me, he could have done it by now.'  
  
'That doesn't mean he won't. You're staying with me for the rest of tonight. Nick, Warrick process Sara's apartment. Catherine, call Brass and fill him in. See if he can have the detail ready by tomorrow afternoon.' 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Sara sat in Grissom's car silently. She thought of trying an escape by taking her car, but then she realized she'd come into the lab with Nick. She avoided eye contact with Grissom. Hopefully, he wouldn't ask anymore questions, at least not tonight.  
  
'Sara, what do you think the message he's trying to send you is?'  
  
Damn it. 'I don't know.' She felt a little bit guilty, that was a blatant lie. She knew perfectly well what the message was. Grissom decided to leave it alone. He was well aware that she had been avoiding eye contact. That was the problem with Vegas, too many things to look at from car windows. He'd ask her again, later, when they got home, he meant his place.  
  
  
  
'Hey Nick, is Catherine coming over to help us?'  
  
'No, she's going home to spend some time with Lindsay. Have you found anything?'  
  
'No, this guy didn't want to be caught.'  
  
'Nick'  
  
'Yeah'  
  
'Do you get the feeling that Sara's not telling us the whole story.'  
  
'Definitely. I reckon the only reason she told us anything was so that she could control what we knew.'  
  
'Hold on what's this on the floor.' Warrick examined a couple of stains on the floor next to the couch then he bent down to smell it. 'Nick, this smells like chloroform.'  
  
'If Sara fell asleep on the couch, then the guy came in and chloroformed her she wouldn't have heard a thing.'  
  
'It explains why she didn't wake up.'  
  
'Damn, I should have known.'  
  
'Why?'  
  
'When I came over earlier, Sara mentioned her lips felt sweet. A classic symptom of chloroform use.'  
  
  
  
  
  
Sara looked around Grissom's apartment. She hated to admit it, but she felt safer here than she would have at her apartment. It was awful knowing that this guy had violated her privacy. She started to understand what Nick had felt like when he had the stalker in his home.  
  
'Sara, are you hungry?'  
  
'No, but thanks.'  
  
'Sit down.'  
  
'Why?'  
  
'I want to talk to you.' She should have known he wasn't going to let the subject drop that easily.  
  
'That's fine, but I'd prefer to stand.' He realized this was going to be even harder than he thought.  
  
'Ok. So Sara, why did you leave Justin.'  
  
'I'm not going to answer that.'  
  
'Then answer this, what did that eyelash mean? Look at me when you answer this time.' No answer.  
  
'Have you ever told anyone why you left Justin?'  
  
'No. But somehow, I think this guy, the suspect knows. I don't know how he does, I never told anyone.'  
  
'Do you keep a diary or journal?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Since you won't tell me why you left, I can't figure out what this guy is trying to tell you.'  
  
'He's telling me he knows my secrets, that he has control and power.'  
  
'You're still not going to tell me about Justin?'  
  
'No'  
  
'Alright', Grissom knew it was pointless to keep arguing with Sara, 'The spare bedroom is down that hall on the right, get some sleep Sara.'  
  
'Goodnight Grissom.' She walked down the hall thinking about what else this stalker, or possible murderer, was telling her. She knew what the message was - she was the victim last time, and she was going to be the victim this time as well. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 Grissom had wanted Sara to stay at his place, but she wasn't about to agree to that. And as she had said, Brass didn't have the detail ready yet, so it would be safer for her to be at the lab around other people. He hated how she could argue so effectively, he also loved it. They had dropped by her place so she could pick up some spare clothes and toiletries.  
  
Sara walked into her apartment, her home. God no, it didn't feel like home anymore. She felt like she was intruding on someone else's space. There was dust everywhere, she reminded herself it was a crime scene. She went into her bedroom and opened her closet. Suddenly she recoiled. How did she know that guy hadn't gone through her clothes, laid on her bed? How did she know he hadn't touched her while she was sleeping? No, he couldn't have, she was only sleeping, she would have woken up. He would have had to have drugged her or... Then she realized. The sweetness of her lips, her sleeping in. He had drugged her. The reality of the situation hit her, emotionally and physically. All the memories came flooding back, and all the times he could have been watching her were realized. She tried to fight back the emotions, she failed. Her body started to shake.  
  
Grissom was starting to get worried. She had insisted he stay in the car, she'd be angry if he came up. Oh well, he was bound to piss her off today, it might as well be now. 'Sara'. Even though her back was turned he could see that she was shaking and he could here her almost silent sobs. Slowly, he walked up and put his arms around her. At first she froze, then she realized who it was and allowed herself to be comforted. 'It's ok, I'm not going to let anything happen to you, it's ok.' Sara didn't stop crying, but she turned around to face him. She buried her head in his chest and slowly the shaking lessened. He gently stroked her hair, noticing the smoothness of it. 'It's ok, everything's ok'. She realized then, this was the first time, she had felt safe in years.  
  
  
  
Nick, Catherine and Warrick looked across at Sara as she entered the room with Grissom. She was visibly lighter. Her face, which had always been a picture of vitality and energy (except for when she worked 3 weeks without a day off), was now gaunt and pale. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot. It had only taken 24 hours for this criminal to corrupt the Sara they knew and loved. They could never have imagined seeing her this weak, if only they knew.  
  
She sat down and gave them all a smile. That thousand watt smile, that was still as wide but didn't have quite the same vigor as it had in the past.  
  
'I'm fine, just a little tired.' They all nodded their heads, but none of them really believed it.  
  
'Ok today's cases, Eckley has agreed to take our one homicide, so we've been left with a missing person who happens to have a habit of wandering away from home and an armed robbery. I reckon we can get that over and done with in a couple of hours, then get back to concentrating on Sara's case.'  
  
'Hold on, how the hell did you get Eckley to take on the homicide.' Catherine had to ask, besides being curious, this information could come in handy if she ever needed something from Eckley.  
  
'Let's just say, there was a certain amount of compliments and flattery involved.' Wow thought Sara, he must care about me. I mean any guy that would suck up to Eckley had to care about you. Damn, someone's phone started ringing.  
  
'It's mine.'  
  
'Um, Sara', Nick said in his cautionary older brother tone, 'Maybe it's not a good idea to answer that.'  
  
'Well I'm not just going to let it ring.'  
  
'Maybe Nick is right.' Warrick said.  
  
'It's probably not even him.' Sara went to answer the phone.  
  
'Stop, I agree with Nick and Warrick, and I bet Catherine does too', Catherine nodded her head in agreement, 'and anyway, if you don't answer your mobile he'll probably try the office phone and they'll forward it through to here. That way you can put it on speaker.' Sara didn't like that idea, even though rationally she knew he was right. But she no longer had a choice, her phone had stopped ringing. The silence that followed was almost as bone chilling as the ringing. At least with the ringing there was something simpler to concentrate on. But now all these questions started to emerge. However, the silence was a brief one, the office phone showed a call had been put through. 'Put it on speaker.' Sara pressed the speaker button, then picked up the phone. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 'Hello', Sara tried to make her voice sound as strong as possible.  
  
'Hey Sara, it's Brass, I won't be able to get the detail there today.'  
  
'What?!' Grissom looked homicidal.  
  
'He hasn't made any direct threats, so I'd have to get my boss to approve it.'  
  
'Then get him to approve it.'  
  
'I'm trying, but he doesn't want it to look like favoritism. Plus he's holding some kind of summit with senators. You know the type, trying to get extra men at the moment is hell. I'm sorry guys, I haven't given up.' 'Yeah, we know.'  
  
'See ya.' With that he hung up.  
  
'Well all that worry was for nothing, huh?' Nick said, if only to break the uptight atmosphere. But it worked, all the CSI's found a smile creeping onto their faces. The phone started ringing again.  
  
'That'll be Brass ringing because he forgot to ask Sara how she was going.' They all laughed a little louder. Sara stifled her laughter to pick up the phone.  
  
'Hey Brass.'  
  
'Sara?'  
  
'Who is this?' The other CSI's were still making jokes about Brass and didn't notice the look of dread in Sara's eyes.  
  
'You know who it is Sara, You didn't come home last night. Where were you, I was worried?' Grissom turned his head to see how the hell Sara was managing not to start laughing while on the phone to Brass. Then he saw the look in her eyes. One by one the other CSI's followed Grissom's gaze and saw Sara standing there, barely daring to breathe.'  
  
'Who are you?'  
  
'I can't believe you let him do that to you Sara. You're so beautiful, you need to know that. I would never do that to you. I would never be like Justin, I couldn't be like him.'  
  
'How do you know?'  
  
'Don't you remember Sara? You told me, you have to remember. We talked about it before you came to Las Vegas. I told you I'd follow and you told me you loved me.'  
  
'I never said any of that.' A tear tugged at her eye. Suddenly the power went out. The back-up generator kicked in, but it was too late, the connection was gone.  
  
'Sara', Grissom ventured warily. She looked as if she was far away.  
  
'He said that I had told him I loved him.'  
  
'Did you recognize the voice?'  
  
'No, I don't know him.'  
  
'Ok what did he say, exactly.'  
  
'Grissom, not now.'  
  
'You'll have forgotten later, tell me now.' He hated to do this to her, but if they were going to find this guy, it was their only hope at the moment. Sara knew it too. She sat down on the chair next to the phone, and told them what he had said. She wrung her hands till they were red raw. She told them what he said to her, including what he had said about Justin. They all had questions, the obvious questions that they had to ask. Sara waited for them. It's not that she wanted to tell them about Justin, it was sickening even to think about it. But she had talked to this guy on the phone, she had seen his type a thousand times, an obsessive delusional psychopath. She knew how dangerous these guys could be. She was scared. He had control. If she told them now she would still have some control. If he made her tell them, she would be left with nothing. When they asked the questions, she would answer them. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 He was confused, but there had to be an explanation. He had waited for her all this time. She understood him, and he understood her. He knew everything about her. 'Sara, Sara. Why did you hang up the phone. Those bastards you work with made you do it didn't they. It wasn't your fault. You love me. Don't worry, we'll be away from here soon. You won't have to put up with them. We'll be ok, because it will be just us. No-one else.'  
  
'That's it.'  
  
'You sure?'  
  
'I don't think I'm ever going to forget that conversation.'  
  
'Alright. You've told us what he said on the phone, but,' Warrick wanted to be careful here. They couldn't risk having Sara refuse to explain the comments about Justin, 'what did he mean about the way Justin treated you?'  
  
Sara knew this question had been coming, she had been thinking about it but she still had no idea how to answer it. As a result, she spoke slowly and carefully. Not because she was trying to present the facts in a favorable light, she knew that could impact on the investigation, but because she was scared of what she was going to have to say. 'Justin had a temper. He was fairly..volatile.'  
  
It didn't take much for the others to figure out what she was saying. Grissom and Nick were sitting closest to her. Gil was the first one to speak, 'He hit you, didn't he?' It wasn't really a question, it was more of a statement. She nodded her head in response.  
  
'How did it start?'  
  
'A friend introduced us at a party. It was just after I moved back to San Francisco. At that time, Justin was a CSI in San Francisco. He helped me get my job'.  
  
'You didn't need any help getting a job Sara, you're a brilliant CSI and you were at the top of your year at Harvard.' Normally this kind of praise from Grissom would have thrilled Sara, right now she barely noticed it.  
  
'Justin's brother got caught up in a gang. He couldn't take cases because he couldn't investigate his brother. Eventually he just quit, it was more than just his brother. He had stopped loving the job a couple of months before that had even started. By then I was living with him, and I was still working as a CSI. One day I was handed a case, the victim was Justin's brother. When I told Justin he was devastated, he blamed himself. But when I couldn't find the killer, he started to blame me. The first time we really fought, he slapped me across the face. I walked out.'  
  
'That's good, Sara, lots of people don't.' The minute Catherine had said this she realized that she may have spoken to soon.  
  
'But I went back, and I stayed for another 3 or 4 months. I guess I blamed myself as well, Justin's brother was a great kid. I re-opened the case. The gangs found out and threatened Justin, in return Justin and I, had a fight.'  
  
'You mean he hit you.'  
  
'Yeah, it wasn't exactly an uncommon event.'  
  
'So, what made you leave', asked Warrick.  
  
'One day my cousin came over, she was really upset. Her mother died when she was little, I was like her older sister. She went to gave me hug and I grimaced from the pain. I couldn't even comfort the one person I had always promised to be there for. After she left, I grabbed some clothes and got out. I got some money, jumped on a plane, and ended up in Miami, then Boston, a couple of other places. Eventually I went back to San Francisco Criminalistics. That was about a year before I came here.' They were all surprised by how recent it was.  
  
'Hold on, you were working with other CSI's, didn't any of them guess?'  
  
'Justin was originally a CSI as well, he knew not to bruise the face or appear controlling. If any of my friends asked me I'd just tell them that I got mugged or something.'  
  
'They believed you.'  
  
'Despite what you think Grissom, I can be a surprisingly good liar.'  
  
'Thank you for telling us Sara.'  
  
'Hey, I have a thing about being killed, I'd prefer it not to happen. So, I guess I had to tell you.'  
  
'So what does this mean?' Nick asked.  
  
'Same thing as the eyelash.' Grissom stated.  
  
'He's in control, he has the power.' Sara responded.  
  
'How do you figure that.'  
  
'Because knowledge is power, and he knows all about me.' 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 After the bombshell Sara had dropped, her workmates instinctively decided the best way to deal with it was just to work. Sara obviously hadn't wanted to tell them, and wasn't ready to tell them more. The only reason she had done so was because her only other option was to give her stalker an unfair advantage which could ultimately mean her death. She was stubborn and scared, not stupid. Sara had quietly excused herself to go to the locker room. Nick and Grissom had both moved to follow her but Catherine told them to give her a couple of minutes alone.  
  
Grissom couldn't help but think that it was his fault. Had he known her when this had happened? It would have been two, three years ago. Yes, they used to communicate via email. They had emailed or spoken on the phone at least once a week, usually more. Then it started happening less and less. The phone calls stopped altogether. He was lucky if he got an email once every two months. When he did get them, they were always hurried with spelling mistakes. That was unlike Sara, but he didn't care. It didn't matter because the emails were from her. He remembered how he had smiled when he saw her email address appear on the screen. He hadn't even stopped to think that something might be wrong. He assumed she was just getting busier, with work. God, why hadn't he realized? So many obvious signs of abuse. Psychological abuse in the way she wrote her emails and talked about herself. Social abuse, he probably didn't allow her to contact her friends which explained the haste in her letters to him. Probably financial abuse as well, another reason why she didn't feel as if she could leave. Then of course there was the physical abuse. How could anyone hit her? Why would anyone want to?  
  
'Gil?' Grissom looked up, Catherine was talking to him. 'Nick's gone to find Sara. I'm not sure that she's going to tell him anything. Personally I think she'll tell you first, and I think she knows that but she needs some time before she can confront that fact, ok.'  
  
Grissom nodded, he understood that. He was glad Catherine had explained it to him, he wouldn't have thought of it himself. But Catherine was right, Sara had just made one of the biggest steps in her life and she needed some time out before making any more.  
  
Catherine continued, 'Warrick's gone to see if there are any recordings of the phone conversation.'  
  
'You think Sara lied?'  
  
'No, she was definitely telling the truth. But if we have a recording we can look for background noises, or see if the guy has any identifiable trademarks, such as a lisp. Sara might not have noticed that, I mean I wouldn't have if I was on the phone to a guy who is a ..' Catherine stopped when she saw the fear in Grissom's eyes.  
  
'Front desk probably wouldn't have made a recording anyway.'  
  
Great he was getting depressed. 'Look even if we have a transcript, we can look over his use of grammar and what he said exactly, without having to put Sara through it again.' Catherine was right. He knew Catherine coped by working and taking charge, just like she had when she was kidnapped.  
  
'After Warrick's done that, he's going to join us in the evidence room. We're processing the chloroform that the guys collected from Sara's apartment. Hopefully we'll find out what strength it is, where it's from and how this bastard got access to it.'  
  
[Grissom hadn't prayed for years. Not even for himself, but now for her, he was. Oh God, please don't let anything happen to her. She doesn't deserve it.] 'That's a good idea Catherine, let's go.'  
  
  
  
'What do you mean I need a warrant?' Warrick was almost yelling.  
  
'I'm sorry, you need a warrant before I can give you access to any phone calls or transcripts.'  
  
'I work here.'  
  
'That has nothing to do with it. It's a privacy and protection policy that was implemented last year. Even if you are a recipient to a phone call, you are going to need a warrant to see it if it is going to be used for legal or evidentiary purposes.'  
  
'What are you? A textbook. Talk like a human being, man.'  
  
'I'm sorry, it's the law.'  
  
  
  
'Catherine, take a sample of this chloroform over to Greg.'  
  
'What do you want me to tell him it's for?'  
  
'He already knows that Sara's apartment was broken into.'  
  
'But Grissom he doesn't know that she was chloroformed.'  
  
'Just tell him it's for a case, don't elaborate and don't explain.'  
  
'Sure. What are you going to do while I take it over to him?'  
  
'I found a fragment in the chloroform puddle. I want to have a look at it before I take it to Greg, so I'll meet you over there. Ok.'  
  
  
  
Nick opened the door to the locker room. 'Sara?'  
  
'Nick? I really don't want to talk right at the moment.'  
  
'That's fine.' Nick followed her voice to find her sitting near her locker. 'You know we're here for you right?'  
  
'I know.' With that she collapsed into his arms. Nick was probably one of her best friends. Later she'd want to be comforted by Grissom, but not now, she was scared of his actions. She loved Justin once and look what he did, she wasn't ready to face Grissom's reactions yet. She just needed someone who was purely a friend. Nick was great like that. He was also good with people. He didn't make you talk if you didn't want to. She was thankful for that. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 'Grissom.' People on the other side of the world could probably hear Warrick at this point in time.  
  
'Warrick, what's wrong?' asked Grissom. Where is Cath? Oh, wait I sent her over to Greg with the chloroform.  
  
'The desk won't tell me if they have a recorded version of the phone conversation between Sara and that foul.'  
  
'What do you mean they won't tell you. Do they have a copy or not?'  
  
'They won't even tell me that without a warrant.'  
  
'This is ridiculous.'  
  
'Ok, Warrick take this over to Greg for me, I'll call Brass and then I'm going to have a chat to Conrad Ecklie.' Warrick was still so angry, he had only heard the bit about Brass and Ecklie.  
  
'What exactly did you want to me take over to Greg?'  
  
'This slide. It's some of the chloroform you collected from Sara's flat.'  
  
'What about it?'  
  
'Well Catherine's already taken over a sample to see how strong it is and all of that stuff.'  
  
'Then why are you bothering with a second batch.'  
  
'Look at the slide under the microscope.' Warrick bent down and looked through the microscope. Then he saw what he couldn't have seen with his naked eye at Sara's apartment.  
  
'It looks like rubber or latex. But it has indentation marks like..'  
  
'Skin.'  
  
'You think?'  
  
'I'm not sure, it could be.'  
  
'If it is it might give us DNA.'  
  
'If we're very lucky. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Any clue at this point is good.'  
  
'Yeah, I'll take this over to Greg.' Warrick left the room hopeful. Grissom picked up his mobile phone. He desperately wanted to know what Greg would find, but the results wouldn't be back for a while and he needed to get that warrant from Brass.  
  
'Brass, is that you?'  
  
'Yeah, I'm still having trouble getting the protection for Sara.'  
  
'That's not what I'm calling about. I need a warrant.'  
  
  
  
'Come on Greg, I need results, not chit-chat.'  
  
'What case is this for anyway?'  
  
'Just one of those fish.'  
  
'Ah, the ones that got away.'  
  
'Um, yep.' At that moment Warrick came through the door. He was almost running.  
  
'Wow, what's the rush guys. You do know that I have more evidence from other cases to process.'  
  
'This is more important Greg.' Warrick wasn't in the mood for this.  
  
'Hey the only reason I'm doing Cath's chloroform now is because she bought me a coffee last week.'  
  
'Hey, don't think that by doing this you're going to get out of paying me back.'  
  
'Damn.' Warrick gently pulled Catherine outside the door and explained what Grissom had found.  
  
'Hey Catherine, your chloroform is ready to go.'  
  
'Greg, if you process Warrick's sample before the rest of this stuff you can forget about having to pay me back for the coffee.' Greg would do anything for a free coffee.  
  
'Ok, I'm persuaded. It'll be ready in about an hour.'  
  
'Do it in less than 45 minutes and I'll buy you another coffee.'  
  
'And dessert?'  
  
'Fine.' They left Greg to his too loud music and hurried movements. It's amazing how fast someone can move when there's a free coffee and dessert as the reward.  
  
  
  
'Where is Grissom?' Catherine asked when they were away from Greg. Warrick gave her the shortened version. 'So he's probably off to find Conrad now?' 'Yeah, but why?' 'Conrad Ecklie must have been the one who changed the rules about access to telephone transcripts.' 'Oh, so why didn't Grissom know about it?' 'Don't know.' 'Hey Catherine, what do your results from Greg say?' 'Hell, I almost forgot. Ok, let's see. That's weird.' 'What?' 'Well you know how the chloroform a low-level criminal uses is different to black market chloroform and Mafia-level chloroform is different to the chloroform criminalistics labs use.' 'Yeah, I mean it's all chloroform but with a test like the one Greg ran, it should tell us the difference right?' 'Yeah, and it does.' 'Then, what's the problem?' 'This is exactly the same type of chloroform that the Las Vegas Criminalistics lab uses.' 'That's us.' 'Yeah.' 'You mean someone who works here could be behind this?' 'I don't know. I mean if it was someone here, they would be on camera getting it and they would have to fill in the log book.' 'But, if they were delivering it.' 'Exactly, how hard would it be to change the delivery inventory list, and grab a couple of bottles of the stuff.'  
  
'So we check all our inventory lists for the past couple of months for any discrepancies.'  
  
'Ok, I'll call Grissom and tell him what we're doing on the way.'  
  
  
  
'Conrad!'  
  
'Hello Gil.'  
  
'What the hell is this warrant thing about?'  
  
'Oh yeah, I heard about that. Why would Warrick want a copy of a phone record anyway. Wouldn't have anything to do with his gambling problem that you choose to ignore, would it.'  
  
'No, it has nothing to do with that, and Warrick is recovering. Why the hell wasn't I notified about this.'  
  
'Well it was at one of our meetings, you know the ones you're supposed to attend.'  
  
'Would it have taken that much time to let me know.'  
  
'Hey, since I've already agreed to take one of your cases, my time is a precious commodity.'  
  
'The only reason you agreed to take that case for me was because I know about your little fling with the Sheriffs niece.'  
  
'That's only a suspicion Grissom, you can't prove it.'  
  
'Civilizations have been brought down on less than a suspicion.'  
  
'Was that a threat?'  
  
'What do you think it was?'  
  
'Get out of my face Gil.'  
  
'Make me.' 


	9. Chapter 9 and 10

Chapter 9 'Nick'  
  
'Yes Sara?'  
  
'Can we go see what the others are doing.'  
  
'I'm not sure if that's a good idea.'  
  
'I've remembered some stuff about the way he spoke.'  
  
'Ok, tell me about it.'  
  
'No, get the others and I'll tell you all what I remember. I'm not going through this twice, I can't, I just can't.'  
  
'If that's what you want.' Nick felt nervous about leaving her.  
  
  
  
'Grissom.' Nick's voice echoed along the corridor a minute before he turned and entered the room. Grissom, obviously still furious stepped away from Ecklie in a surprisingly calm manner. It wasn't a nice calm, it was the controlled calm that made the other two unsure of what Gil was going to do next.  
  
'Yes, Nick.'  
  
'You'd better come and take a look at this.' Grissom didn't want to move anywhere, he had all this anger and fear built up inside of him, admittedly it was directed towards Sara's attacker, but for now Ecklie was a good enough substitute. Seeing Grissom's reluctance to move, Nick knew he had to get him out of there without mentioning Sara in front of Ecklie.  
  
'I'm sure I can take a look at it later.'  
  
'It's about your mother.' Come on Grissom get the hint.  
  
'What?' My mother is dead he thought. Get lost Nick so I can bruise up Ecklie without any witnesses.  
  
'She's sick, she needs to talk to someone, now.' Grissom turned to Nick, not because he had any intention of not hitting Ecklie, but because he was just so confused, what the hell was Nick talking about. However, once he had broken his homicidal eye contact with Ecklie, he realized what Nick was getting at.  
  
'We'll finish this conversation later Ecklie.'  
  
'Are you scared Grissom.'  
  
'No, I just have something better to do than waste my time dealing with dirt.'  
  
  
  
'What's wrong Nick? I thought you were with Sara.' Awful thoughts started running through Grissom's head,  
  
'She wants to talk to all of us.'  
  
'I'll call Warrick and Catherine and tell them to meet us in the locker room.'  
  
'Ok, I'll see you three there.'  
  
Catherine's phone started ringing just as she was about to call Grissom.  
  
'Catherine?'  
  
'Well, speak of the devil. We were just about to call you, we got a pretty interesting lead off the chloroform.'  
  
'Really?'  
  
'Well, mine at least. Greg's still processing your suspected skin sample. But, why did you call?'  
  
'Sara wants to talk to us. Meet us at the locker room.'  
  
'Who was that?' asked Warrick once Catherine had hung up the phone.  
  
'Grissom, Sara's got some info.'  
  
'Great, that means we can tell all of them about our little discovery.'  
  
'Do you think Sara should know?'  
  
'I think she has a right to know.'  
  
  
  
Chapter 10 The others entered the room at roughly the same time. First was Nick, then Grissom followed by Warrick who held the door open for Catherine. Grissom immediately noticed how frail Sara looked. He forced himself to walk over to her. She didn't even look up. She is lost, I have to pull her back. Why would anyone do this to her, why did she let him. I would never do that to her. Deep down he knew that his feelings for Sara were not just student/teacher or boss/co-worker, there was something he felt for Sara that he had never felt before. Now's not the time for this, Sara needs your support now. She has handling this well, better than the rest of us probably would but Sara has always been a cut above everyone else. In my eyes, she is perfection.  
  
The others sat down across from her, Grissom sat next to her.  
  
'Sara', he almost whispered.  
  
'He's educated.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'The stalker. He spoke softly, like he's trying to get an answer. His grammar was perfect, nervous, but perfect. He plans things and is meticulous.'  
  
'That doesn't fit with our theory.' Warrick couldn't help but say.  
  
'What do you mean?'  
  
'Well, you see the chloroform that was used on Sara, was from this lab.'  
  
'What?' They were all surprised to see Sara react like that. She had almost jumped out of her seat. 'He took chloroform from here. There's supposed to be videotapes. He couldn't have. He's right in front of us, right in front of me and I didn't know.' Sara's standards were always high, but they were even higher for herself.  
  
'Sara, calm down. It's ok.' Sara didn't respond to Grissom's pleas. Instead she started pacing.  
  
'Look Sara, we were thinking he's a delivery guy, so he could have taken it from outside, away from the cameras, then fudged inventory sheets.' Sara didn't respond and they all realized why.  
  
'But delivery guys aren't educated. They don't plan a conversation like this guy did when he was on the phone. He's not a delivery guy. He's gotten the chloroform from here, but he's smart enough to know how to get around the cameras. And if he's smart enough to do that, then he's smart enough to know how to get to.'  
  
'Sara, calm down.' Nicky spoke to her in a gentle, brotherly way.  
  
'How did he get the chloroform out of here? He couldn't have gone into the storeroom because it would be on tape and he would need clearance.' The CSI's sat there for several minutes, thinking of all the possible ways to get access to chloroform without going into the storeroom, when out of the blue, Sara spoke.  
  
'Anyone who is a CSI has access to the chloroform, but no CSI wanting to commit murder,' she stumbled over that word, 'would take a weapon from where they were being filmed. So that leaves us with someone who works here and walks around the corridors and can just pick up a half used bottle of chloroform without us noticing. Probably picked it up after an experiment.' They all knew it could be admin, clerical, staff doctors, anyone.  
  
Just then Greg burst through the door, 'Hey, in just under 30 minutes I think I have solved your case yet again, no thanks necessary.' He started his mock bows but stopped when he saw their appearances. Grissom was so distracted he hadn't even bothered abusing him. 'The chloroform, the second batch, is a skin sample.'  
  
'Does it have DNA?' Sara didn't need to ask about the finer details of her friend's discovery. She figured the skin sample was from her apartment, and if there was DNA, they would have their person. Everyone who worked in the building no matter what their position had DNA testing. The hope in her heart traveled to her eyes.  
  
'Well, Greg, answer me? Does it have DNA?' 


	10. Chapter 11 and 12

Chapter 11 ************* He was going to see her at work today. He knew she would come and see him. She came to see him when she was upset. He knew why she was upset. She was tired of having to keep their relationship secret. She didn't want him to lose his job, and he didn't want Sara to lose hers. But she seemed upset, probably those bastards she works with are being mean to her, making her leave San Francisco, making her leave me. But that's ok, because I followed her here and now we're together again, together forever. They would get rid of those people she worked with and then they would deal with Justin.  
  
'I'm sorry. No DNA.'  
  
'Then what was the whole tirade about solving our case?' Nick was getting angry, he had seen the hope Sara had held, for that brief second.  
  
'I didn't get DNA, but I did manage to isolate some enzymes in the skin. Turns out your guy, and it is a guy, has a skin condition. Calcium deficiency that causes skin to fall off easily under stress or excitement.' Sara didn't want to hear those last words. Considering what she had figured out, that the guy could have been anywhere in her apartment, doing anything, she didn't need to hear someone else tell her he was 'excited'.  
  
'Thanks Greg, you can go know.' Grissom didn't have time for pleasantries.  
  
'Sure, whatever', Greg said feeling a little hurt, 'and Cath, you owe me a coffee and dessert remember.' When Greg was safely out of hearing distance Grissom had an idea.  
  
'Ok, Brass will have the warrant for the phone call. It probably won't have anything but Nick I want you to check it out anyway. But, if the guy works here, and he has a skin condition, it might be on his medical file. Cath and Warrick, I want you to check those two things, I'll give you the keys to my office.'  
  
'But they're confidential.' Catherine wasn't a stickler for the rules, she was more interested in how Grissom planned to get around them.  
  
'If we accidently spilt them and then happened to see some information while cleaning up those files...'. Sara looked at Grissom in complete surprise, he's breaking the rules, for me.  
  
'Wait, you could get fired for that.' Sara's sense of loyalty to Gil kicked in.  
  
'No-one will be able to prove it Sara, and your life is more important.' Catherine didn't miss that, Gil's job meant everything to him, well almost everything, but Sara meant the world, no the universe. If this guy got Sara, he wouldn't just be getting one life, he'd be getting two. Grissom couldn't survive without Sara.  
  
Chapter 12 Grissom had decided to take Sara back to his place. Nick would come over if he got anything from the phone call, otherwise he would break the law with Cath and Warrick. Sara entered Grissom's house cautiously. She felt his hand on the small of her back, she tensed up then she started to relax. Gently, he steered he over to the kitchen bench.  
  
'Do you want something to eat?'  
  
'No.'  
  
'Sara, you haven't eaten for 36hrs. I didn't really mean it as a question.'  
  
'Yeah, I guess you're right.'  
  
'I have some pasta.'  
  
'Thanks, that'd be nice.' Grissom noticed that Sara was practically holding herself up. Her grip on the bench had made her knuckles go even whiter under the strain.  
  
'Why don't you sit down?' he phrased it as a question, but again, it was more of a statement. Sara nodded in agreement. Then she looked down at her clothes, they were the ones she'd been wearing in her apartment, the ones she'd been wearing when she got the phone call.  
  
'Actually, do you mind if I have a shower.' Grissom mentally scolded himself for the mental image he had. Sara needed him to be there for her, not for him to be thinking about her naked.  
  
'Sure,' Grissom said, looking intently into the pasta like it was one of his bugs, 'there are towels in there.'  
  
Sara wandered down the hall, and turned into the spare bedroom to get a change of clothes. Her mind flashed back to when she had gone to her place for some clothes. That was the moment she realized she had been drugged. Grissom had been really good. He had consoled her, then picked up the bag she had already packed and got her out to the car. He had turned off the lights and locked the door, he had even checked if there was any mail. Suddenly, her thoughts came back to the present. God, these are all the same as the clothes I have on, he could have touched them. Sara forced herself to stop thinking about what he could have done, or at least she tried. She finally settled on an outfit that she had taken from the very bottom of her chest of drawers. She didn't notice her hands shaking, or her mind spinning, or her need to throw up.  
  
The phone call started running through her head, Warrick telling them about the chloroform, Greg telling them about the skin condition, and Justin, telling her to be quiet, not to scream, not to tell anyone, then apologizing, and her forgiving him. Those two evil voices started running simultaneously in her head. /'I could never be like him'/ 'Where the hell is my coffee, you lazy bitch, you can't even get me more coffee'/ 'I told you I'd follow you, and you told me you love me'/ 'Sara, I'm sorry, baby, I was just upset, it'll never happen again, talk to me, trust me.'/ She just got to the bathroom and slammed the door. She left everything outside that door, the voices stopped. She was free, for a moment.  
  
Grissom heard the bathroom door slam. His brisk pace had him outside the bathroom door in an instant.  
  
'Sara, Sara, are you ok in there.' Go away she sobbed silently.  
  
'Come on, talk to me.' Sara's whole body tightened with fear.  
  
'No, go away, get away.' Sara wasn't going to give in, not again.  
  
'You can trust me.' Grissom listened closely to the door. Sara jumped back.  
  
'No, not again, not again Justin.' What? Oh God, she's having flashbacks, thought Grissom, and she was locked in a bathroom.  
  
'Sara, open the door or I'm going to break it down.' Great Grissom, she already thinks you're Justin, no need to go fuelling the fire. But I don't have much choice, I can't leave her in there, she could do anything.  
  
It took only one ram with Grissom's shoulder for the door to fly open. There was Sara, disheveled and scared. In a corner crying, huddled up against the wall. She was staring past Grissom and muttering incoherent sentences.  
  
'Sara, Sara, it's ok. It's me, he can't hurt you.' He held her in his arms and rocked her gently. And so they sat, on Grissom's bathroom floor. Him just holding her, just being there for her. Her crying, shaking and finally letting herself just be held. Just letting herself be held.  
  
'Catherine, you got anything?'  
  
'I haven't got bupkis.'  
  
'Whoever it is, they wouldn't have to list it on their medical files.'  
  
'That's true.'  
  
'Hey, guys.'  
  
'Hi Nick.'  
  
'You two found anything yet?'  
  
'Nope.'  
  
'Bupkis', Catherine repeated.  
  
'God, I can't believe this. He works with us and none of noticed.'  
  
'Nick, you can't beat yourself up over this, none of us knew.'  
  
'There had to be signs, there's always signs.'  
  
'Are you talking about the stalker, or Justin?'  
  
'Both, I guess. I mean look at the way she deals with rape and abuse cases. The way she is really cautious with guys, that whole false wall she's built to protect herself. It's over assertiveness, you don't let anyone in, and they can't hurt you. We've seen it all the time', Nick paused, 'I just can't believe Sara would take that from him.'  
  
'She felt like it was her fault, that she owed him something.'  
  
'I reckon it was more than that', Cath said, 'most instances of abuse aren't just purely physical. They're financial, social.psychological.'  
  
'And Sara never dealt with any of that baggage.' stated Warrick.  
  
'Do you think she ever will?'  
  
'She's taken the first step', said Warrick.  
  
'The second you mean.' Catherine could sort of understand where Sara had been.  
  
'What do you mean?'  
  
'The first one was to leave him, most women don't even get that far.' 


	11. Chapter 13

A/N'S ok people, read and then review, you're all smart people, so follow those instructions. Happy reading! And thank you to Geena for beta-ing this!  
  
Chapter 13 Sara had cried herself to sleep in his arms. He didn't want to move her, but they couldn't sit here forever. Gently, he raised her, careful not to hit her head, he carried her out of the bathroom. Sara murmured and held on more closely to Grissom. He could feel her soft breath caress his skin. She was so strong, but she was strong because she had been as fragile as anyone could be. Grissom didn't fail to see the irony of it, although he didn't appreciate it. He glanced into the spare bedroom and saw her clothes all over the bed. Without giving it a second thought, he carried her into his room and gently laid her down. Sara grasped his hand in her sleep.  
  
'It's ok Sara', He whispered, 'I won't leave you.' Sara released her grip and Grissom covered her affectionately with the sheets. Then he sat down on a chair and watched over her.  
  
Nick looked up from the files they had been going through. 'I think Sara should see a psychiatrist.'  
  
'Really?'  
  
'Yeah, we've got one here, it wouldn't cost anything.'  
  
'I don't think it's the cost you should worry about.'  
  
'You don't think Sara would be up for it?'  
  
'Man, this is Sara we're talking about. Anyway, would you want to?'  
  
'I guess not. I'm still going to suggest it to her.'  
  
'Weren't you going to go over to Gil's?'  
  
'Yeah, I forgot. I'll call him to tell him I'm on my way, and that I didn't find anything.'  
  
'Tell him, that we're probably going to get to a dead end as well.'  
  
'There's still some files to go.'  
  
'Yeah.' Catherine said dejectedly.  
  
Grissom's phone started ringing. Shit, why hadn't he turned it off? Don't wake up Sara. Then he realized if they were calling, they might have a lead. He waited until he was outside of the bedroom to take the call.  
  
'Grissom.'  
  
'Hey, Gris, it's Nick.'  
  
'Did you get anything off the phone call?'  
  
'No, Catherine and Warrick aren't going too well either.'  
  
'Damn.'  
  
'Where's Sara?'  
  
'She's sleeping.'  
  
'That's good. I'm going to come over.'  
  
'Don't worry about it Nick. Help Cath and Warrick.'  
  
'No, there's something I want to talk to you, and Sara about in person.'  
  
'Ok.' Grissom knew Sara probably wouldn't be up to speaking to anyone after her episode in the bathroom. Actually, on second thoughts, she was stronger than he'd given her credit for, she'd gotten out of an abusive relationship, turned her life around, managed to tell her friends, her peers the truth and she wasn't in denial.  
  
'I'll be over in about 10 minutes.'  
  
'See ya.' Grissom hung up the phone and turned around to head back to Sara's side. Suddenly, he started to smell something, burning. Oh God, arson, his mind raced, Sara, was she ok. Then he saw the pasta. He hadn't turned the heat off when he'd gone to help Sara. He walked over to the kitchen bench silently laughing at himself. Nationally acclaimed scientist forgets he has pasta cooking. At least Sara was asleep, she'd never let him forget this.  
  
Sara Sidle began to stir in her sleep. The nightmares were coming back. Justin and the belts, the lamps, anything else that wasn't bolted to the floor, although that didn't always stop him. But now they were different, Justin's face was starting to change. It wasn't him anymore, it wasn't anyone, just a dark shadow, like a black hole, sucking the life out of her. She wasn't going to let him, she hadn't let Justin last time, and this time around she knew she had the support of her friends. Suddenly, a chair came crashing down on top of Sara as she pleaded. Sara bolted up straight.  
  
'God, oh God.' She said quietly. Slowly she opened her eyes, readjusting herself to reality. She was in Grissom's room. Where was Grissom? He said he'd be here. She wasn't stupid enough to go through this alone, she was stubborn, not a complete idiot. Grissom had promised to be there for her, but he wasn't. He had deserted her. Another thought flashed across Sara's mind. What if Grissom was dead, the guy had come looking for Sara and instead found Grissom. She didn't quite know what scared her more.  
  
'Grissom,' she choked, 'Grissom' she said again, a little bit louder. She realized that she had to know, had to find out for sure.. was Grissom safe, was he alive or had he deserted her...Gradually she got up and headed for the door. She stopped, fear holding her, she could not bring herself to open the door. Slowly, tension and fear filling her entire being she lifted her hand to the doorknob, she turned it ever so slowly and quietly fearful of what would be on the other side. Slowly she peered out into the room , then she saw him facing her, he was safe, he was there, everything would be ok, he would protect her.she ran toward him.  
  
Grissom tried to save the pasta, and decided it was a futile effort. So he turned his attention to his saucepan, only to find that it too, had gone to the great kitchen in the sky. Eventually he gave up the scrubbing, deciding that why the hell would he want to be trying to save a pot, when he could be with Sara. With that thought, he put the pot in the sink, washed and wiped his hands and headed back to his bedroom.  
  
Just as he turned to head back though, Sara appeared at his door. He instantly felt guilty for leaving her. He had made a promise.  
  
'Sara, I am so sorry. I got a call from..' Before he could even finish his sentence Sara had run up to him and held him in a strong embrace. He slowly responded and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
This feels so right, to hold her like this. I always thought, if it ever happened, if I ever reached out to her, that it would be awkward and uncomfortable. But it isn't, it is perfect, she is perfect, no they are perfect He knew he would never forget this moment, he wanted it to last forever. He couldn't stand the thought of her pulling away.  
  
Then she started to move her head, her body to fit closer to his, she lifted her head just enough to see him, for him to see her, her eyes held the same dawning light of joy that he suspected was reflected in his. Then they came together in the most automatically natural gesture anyone could imagine, a kiss, softly at first, then with a growing hunger as each recognized the response of the other. Still somewhere deep within himself he knew she was suffering and needed to be protected so from his love came the strength not to push too hard or too fast, thereby leaving her space, space to understand later, if not right now, that she was safe with him, he wasn't like Justin or this other psychopath. He loved her.  
  
I don't want to let him go, I need him Sara was shocked as she admitted this to herself, here she was, embracing her boss, her mentor, her friend, and for the first time in her life, she had admitted she needed someone, she needed him. She wanted him. It feels so right Sara slowly lifted her head to see Grissom looking back down at her, and she knew, they both knew, that everything was right. I'm kissing him, and I don't want it to end.  
  
Slowly, they drew away from each other, each not believing what they had just done. After so many years of friendship, they thought they knew what they were, this changed everything. They didn't know what they were anymore, but they knew that it was more amazing and exhilarating than anything they had ever done before. 


	12. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 Nick pulled up to Grissom's house with trepidation. He didn't know how he was going to tell either of them that he thought Sara should talk to someone, a professional. He was so wrapped up in trying to plan what he was going to say that he before he knew it he was standing at Grissom's front door. He told himself he was an idiot, how long had he been just standing here. Ok, here goes nothing he thought. Nick knocked on the large wooden door. Then he rang the doorbell, still no answer. This couldn't be good. Please let them be ok  
  
'Grissom, Sara, are you in there?'  
  
Sara was looking at Grissom with adoration in her eyes. She had never felt anything like this before. She was happy. Which was kind of ironic considering there was a sociopath after her. But she couldn't help it, she loved him, and that was all she needed.  
  
Grissom gazed into Sara's eyes. He had always thought they were beautiful, he just never realized how beautiful. There was something different about them though. Usually her eyes were deep, brown, curious and daring. But when this had started, she had had a cloud settle over her eyes, one that refused to move. He had been worried that it would stay there forever. But now, her eyes were full of light, and they had an enigmatic sparkle that he had never seen.  
  
At the same time, they both seemed to snap out of their mutual trance just enough to hear Nick telling them that if someone didn't answer the door he was going to force it open.  
  
Nick was standing there his gun pointed at the lock, Come on, please be ok  
  
'Alright Nicky, I'm coming'. Nick almost dropped his gun in surprise. What the hell had taken Grissom so long? Nick breathed in deeply as he willed his heart rate to slow down.  
  
Gradually, Grissom released his hold on Sara, and she did the same. Grissom went over to the door and opened it, but before he did he stole one last look at her. Nick was standing there, still replacing his gun to its rightful home in his holster.  
  
'What took you so long Grissom, where's Sara?'  
  
'I'm here.' Nick noticed they both looked a little flushed, Sara in particular was staring at her feet like a teenager not wanting to admit something to her parents. Nick knew how to recognize that look, he'd had plenty of personal experience.  
  
'Sorry, I took so long to get to the door. Sara was having trouble sleeping and I was in the other room, making sure she was ok. We didn't hear you.' Grissom was glad that Nick was still examining Sara's fascination with her feet because he wouldn't have been able to lie to Nick face to face.  
  
'So, Nick, what did you want to talk to us about?' Grissom said quickly, in an attempt to move the subject along.  
  
'What's this about?' Sara asked, she definitely was not in the mood to be kept in the dark.  
  
'Nick called while you were sleeping, said that he wanted to talk to us about something.'  
  
'Um.yeah. Maybe we should sit down.' Grissom was full of apprehension, but agreed to sit down on his couch. He looked over at Sara who hadn't moved from behind the kitchen bench.  
  
'Sara?'  
  
'I think I'll stay over here.'  
  
'Ok, Nick you have our complete attention.' That wasn't entirely true, Sara was taking the opportunity to examine Grissom's back and head and well..Grissom.  
  
'I was thinking that Sara should talk to someone.'  
  
'I agree.'  
  
'I don't mean one of us.'  
  
'Who else would she talk to?' At this point Sara stopped examining Grissom's back and started to observe the scene playing out in front of her. She saw Nick's nervousness, and the tenseness resonating from Grissom's body. He had put up a defensive front, why?  
  
He's protecting me, from Nick? Or Nick's suggestion?  
  
'I think she should talk to a professional.'  
  
'You have to be kidding Nick.' Grissom practically jumped out of his seat and was already advancing on Nick.  
  
If I was expecting anyone to act like this, it was Sara Nick thought Not Grissom, he has to think about this rationally  
  
'There is no way that.'  
  
'I think it's a good idea.' Both men looked at her in utter shock. 'I think it's a good idea' she repeated.  
  
'Sara, are you sure?'  
  
'Yeah, I' Grissom just kept looking at her.  
  
'It's her choice Grissom.'  
  
'Sara, you don't have to do this if you don't want to.'  
  
'Grissom, if I were anyone else, you would have made this suggestion as well.'  
  
'You sure you want to talk to the psych at the lab.'  
  
'Yeah, I mean I dealt with all the problems in my life by myself, and look how that turned out.' They both thought of the incidence in the bathroom.  
  
'But you're not by yourself.'  
  
'It's worth a try Gil.' For once, Grissom barely noticed the use of his first name. Nick on the other hand picked up on it immediately. He started to look at their body language, it was comfortable, loving. Then the realization hit him like a bolt of lightning. Sure Sara was having trouble sleeping when I came to the door. Nick decided to give them some time alone.  
  
'I think you made the right decision Sara. I'll organize the appointment with Dr. Felton for tomorrow morning, about 11am. Is that ok?'  
  
'That sounds good Nick.'  
  
  
  
Nick silently went towards the door, It took her life being in danger for them to finally get together. For two people so smart, they could be incredibly oblivious.  
  
Sara walked towards Grissom and just stood in front of him. Each of them sharing mutual benefit from the proximity of their bodies.  
  
'Are you sure?'  
  
'Yes.'  
  
They stood there for another few minutes before Grissom gently touched her face. He was rewarded with a dazzling smile, which literally lit up his life.  
  
'I know I said I was cooking you pasta, but that didn't quite work out.'  
  
'It burnt.'  
  
'Yes, how did you.'  
  
'I could smell it, plus there's the pot in your sink and pasta in the bin.'  
  
'I trained you better than I thought.'  
  
'Bad habit, huh?' Grissom just smiled. 'Did you try using bicarb soda on it?'  
  
'No, it's an old wives tale isn't it.'  
  
'Maybe, but it always worked at my parents B+B.' Sara was already over at his cupboards, rummaging through them, searching for the Bicarbonate of Soda.  
  
'Sara?'  
  
'Uh, huh?' she answered, her attention was being held by the elusive packet of soda sitting at the back of the cupboard. She took it out and started applying it to the burnt on pasta at the bottom of the pot.  
  
Grissom sensed that his efforts to engage her concentration would have to be a little more obvious. He quietly got out of his seat and made his away around the bench to Sara's busy figure that was standing over the sink. Just like Sara, won't give up on anything, not even a pot. Just like she didn't give up on me. She looks at home here. God, I love her. Well just tell her that Gil.  
  
He placed his hand on her shoulder, and attempted to turn her around. It was too late when he realized what he had done.  
  
Her body seized up and she felt the fear, confusion and degradation surge through her body. She turned around to face her attacker, and found herself staring into those piercing blue eyes that belonged to the person she loved. Her body felt as if it was going to crumple into a heap then and there.  
  
'God Sara, I am so sorry. I should have thought.'  
  
'No Gris, it's me I shouldn't have.'  
  
'Sara'  
  
'Yes'  
  
'You know you can trust me right?'  
  
'Yes'  
  
'Don't lie to me.' Sara walked away from him No, please don't tell me I'm losing her  
  
Sara took a deep breath in, and turned to face Grissom from the other side of the room.  
  
'I love you Grissom.' Both of them were startled by this admission.  
  
'I love you too, but do you trust me?'  
  
'I want to. And most of me trusts you with my life, the logical part does, even most of the emotional part. But there is that little bit of me that can't help but think- there was a time when I would have trusted Justin with my life, there was a time when I loved him too.'  
  
Grissom didn't know what to say to that. How do I answer that? I love her, and she's telling me she loves me, but she can't trust me, will she ever be able to trust me? How can I ever get her to trust me? Or would to even try be to fight a losing battle? There as to be something I can do. We'll deal with these problems together, and hopefully she'll learn to trust me. His mother used to say that honesty was the first step to trust, and Sara was definitely being honest with him, almost painfully so. Grissom walked over and held her.  
  
'I'm sorry Gil'  
  
'For what?'  
  
'For what I just said.'  
  
'At least you can be honest with me. You're tired, lets go to bed.'  
  
'Ok.' 


	13. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 Sara walked through the CSI building. Dr. Felton's office was the next building over, but making a shortcut through her workplace was the quickest way to get to it. She walked quickly, at first she was thinking about the meeting that was about to take place, but her thoughts wandered to Grissom. She was so happy, that even though she knew she was in danger, she had never felt happier. Last night, he had just held her until she fell asleep, and she woke up with his arms still around her. It was the most comforting instant of her life. She didn't want to move, but she did have an appointment. Grissom had offered to walk her to Dr. Felton's office but she had told him that everything was fine. He insisted that he drive her, she didn't have any complaints. They spent most of the trip staring at each other, although when they were about a block away from CSI, Grissom almost had an accident while taking in Sara's beauty, so there was a mutual decision to try and keep eyes on the road. Grissom had dropped her off and headed home. He'd probably be home in a few minutes. I wonder what he's going to do for the 11 hrs before shift starts.  
  
Sara had reached the building adjacent to CSI, she went up the stairs and found the door that she had been through for her yearly psych evaluations. On the door, 'Dr. S. Felton' was written in gold embossed letters. She gently knocked on the door and then pushed it open. Dr. Felton was younger than most people would expect, he wasn't that much older than Sara. His light brown hair sat gently on his smiling face as he greeted her.  
  
'Sara Sidle.'  
  
'Hi, I'm not too early am I .'  
  
'You're right on time, as usual.'  
  
'Did Nick tell you what this was about?'  
  
'Only the bare minimum, that you were being stalked and that it was somehow linked to a prior abusive relationship.'  
  
'Actually, I don't think that it is linked. I think that.I'm sorry do you mind if I sit down.'  
  
'Of course not, make yourself comfortable.' Sara sat on a well worn brown leather seat. Dr. Felton chose to sit across a small coffee table on a black chair.  
  
'As I was saying, I think that the stalker was just trying to show me that he knew more about me than anyone else, I don't think the stalker is Justin.'  
  
'Your ex-boyfriend?'  
  
'Yes.'  
  
'Does it scare you?'  
  
'Pardon.'  
  
'That this man knows more about you than anyone else.'  
  
'It did at first, but then I realized that there are others who know more about me than he ever will.' At this remark, Dr. Felton sat up straighter.  
  
'Are you referring to a certain someone?'  
  
'Well, yes.'  
  
'I see. Sara, why don't you tell me about Justin. You've always struck me as a strong woman, why did you stay.'  
  
'I don't know.'  
  
'Tell me about the start of your relationship. Take me through it and then we'll get to the end.'  
  
'We met when I was looking for a job. I had worked in Boston and the San Francisco Coroner's office but I really wanted to be a CSI. I met Justin in the hallway as I was going for my interview. He was really nice, I mean I was a complete stranger and he put in a good word for me. So much for people just being nice, decent human beings huh? I got the job, and I felt like I owed it to him. I thanked him and then I found out he was a CSI, we worked my first case together. It was a child abuse case. It got to me, he comforted me. He was really nice. We had been working together for about a month and we were best friends. He told me than his brother, Craig, was involved in a gang. We tried to help him but he didn't want help. Eventually we gave up. We went out for some drinks and we both admitted we had feelings for each other. We blurted it out at practically the same moment.' Sara couldn't help but smile at the memory. 'We dated for 4 months and then I moved in with him. I sold my apartment and I spent every free moment with him. I hardly saw my friends or my family. I didn't even realize it. I was so happy. I fell in love with him, or I thought it was love.' Sara knew now that the only real love she had ever felt was for Grissom. 'I guess I loved Justin because he was so unlike everyone else in my life. My friends and family were always telling me to slow down. Even when I was growing up, my parents never really cared about me. I could bring home straight A's on a report card and they'd say 'Go make the beds in room 3'. Justin was the first person who was constantly in my life who encouraged me and supported me. Looking back I can see the way he cut me off from my family and work was a form of abuse, but he had never been violent. We had never even had a fight. But when we did, it was big. To be honest, I don't even remember what the fight was about. It probably started because I couldn't find the guy who had murdered Justin's brother, Craig. I just remember him slapping me across the face. I was so shocked, he looked shocked too. I grabbed my bag and left. But the next day at work we were assigned to the same case and he apologized, told me that I had gotten so worked up that I was scaring him and he slapped me to try and get me to snap out of it. I believed him. That was one of the problems, I could never bring myself to admit that a man who I felt was so much like myself, a man who I had fallen so deeply in love with, could do that to me unless I had done something to cause it. Then there was always the excuse that he had just lost his younger brother, and that I had to give him some leeway. I know now that psychologically he had affected me. I guess on some level I genuinely thought I deserved it because I had failed to find the murderer. That's a problem because of my tendency to hold myself to higher standards.'  
  
There was a moment of silence where Sara didn't know hat to say. She had never said that out loud before, she had never even thought it through properly. Then she realized she hadn't even looked at the doctor while saying this. She lifted her eyes off the floor to the table, then to his hands. Sara couldn't help but noticed that they were flaking slightly. There were some tiny pieces of skin on the table where his hands had been. That's when all the pieces of this twisted puzzle fell together right in front of her. She thought she knew who her stalker was, but the question still remained, why was he doing it, and was she right about her suspicions?  
  
Dr. Felton interrupted her thoughts. 'Sara, is there anything else?' 


	14. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 'Sara, is there anything else you want to tell me?' Dr. Felton asked.  
  
'No, I just.my throat is really dry, could you get me a drink?'  
  
'Sure.' Felton stood up and walked to the other side of the room where there was a jug of water.  
  
Sara quickly walked over to the door, gently she placed her hand on the door handle and pressed it down, it was locked. Damn Felton's back was still turned. Sara had realized that Felton had a skin condition, just like her stalker, and now the door was locked, no psych in their right mind would lock a door. As she scanned the room for another door she saw a picture on his desk. It was of her, as a teenager. How the hell does he have that? She started to hyperventilate. He was going to turn around soon, it was now or never. She grabbed the oriental vase that was sitting on the filing cabinet and with one swift motion she bought it down on his head. She felt the jolt that went through his body. The glass water jug in his hand fell to the floor and shattered into a thousand pieces. Felton's body followed and hit the floor much more heavily than Sara would have anticipated.  
  
Sara stood over the body for a few moments before she realized what she had done, what if it wasn't him? What if he woke up? Sara bent down over the body to see if there was a pulse, as she searched for a pulse on his neck, some skin cells came off and floated to the floor. This doesn't mean he's a killer. I know Greg said that the stalker would have a skin disease, some kind of calcium deficiency. But it couldn't be him, a psychologist, a person who all of them, Sara and Grissom included, trusted. The man who helped Nick recover from the effects of Nigel Crane. That same man could not be the one who had come into her apartment, gone through her belongings, drugged her, and found out about her past. It couldn't be the same person.  
  
  
  
Grissom was pacing around his house contemplating what Sara was doing. He desperately wanted to go to her, but he knew he couldn't just walk into a meeting, especially one with a psychiatrist. He decided to go for a drive to clear his mind. He grabbed his keys and walked out, and left his gun on the kitchen bench. Grissom walked towards the Tahoe parked in his driveway and got in. He had just turned on the ignition when he saw Sara's mobile phone on the passenger seat. He couldn't help but smile, at least now he had an excuse to go see her.  
  
  
  
Sara reached for her mobile phone to call Grissom. It wasn't there, neither was her gun. She had left her gun at home, she didn't want it near her. But her mobile had been with her when she left Grissom's place. She had never lost her mobile in her life, and finally when she really needed it, she had no idea where it was. Think Sara, think. You can't get out of his office because you're not strong enough to break down the door and you don't have your gun. No-one will hear you scream because psychiatric facilities are soundproofed to maintain confidentiality. You can't call Grissom because you don't have your mobile phone..but this is an office, it's got to have a phone somewhere.  
  
Sara swiftly searched the room with her eyes and found one in the most obvious place, his desk. She walked over and grabbed the phone and put it to her ear. No dial tone. Sara followed the phone cord and saw that it had been cut. He had been planning this. Sara slammed her hand down on the desk. It was an old desk and the force from her hand made it tremor. Sara looked down at where her hand had landed only to see that her small hand was resting on a file marked 'S. Sidle' Gently she opened it and gasped. Holding the file she backed away from the desk and slumped into the chair she had been occupying earlier. She looked at the first sheet, it was a psych evaluation from San Francisco. It was compulsory for her to bring one from San Francisco to Vegas, but that had only been one. There were countless tests. Probably all the ones that she had ever taken. How had he gotten these, they're confidential. Then there were pictures of her at her old office, ones that had everyone else in them drawn over or cut out. There was one that she recognized. It was a personal one of her and Justin, it had sat in a frame at the apartment they had shared. She always assumed that it had been broken in one of his rages.God, he had been following me then. Justin had pen lines drawn over his face, Sara recognized a slight bruise forming just above her neckline. She threw the pictures on the floor in disgust. She turned her attention to the next page, it was written in what she presumed to be Felton's handwriting. She quietly read it to herself and started sobbing softly.  
  
6/7/1997 My dearest Sara, didn't come in to work today. I knew getting involved with that cop wouldn't be good for her. That bastard is just the same as his brother, a murderer. She's been sick a lot since they got together. Sara doesn't talk to me at work because she is scared her feelings for me will come through. We must stay professional. We pretend as if we don't even notice each other. We only admire each other from a distance. She's only with Justin because she doesn't know what real love is. But if she allowed herself to love me.she would be happy.  
  
6/8/1997 Sara came to work today. She looked sad. She probably missed me. I wish I could at least do the psych evaluations with her. I wish I was head psychologist, not some trainee. I know she would prefer to do them with me than Dr. Rosenbaum. It's probably for the best though, if I did her evaluations, in a closed room, we might not be able to control ourselves.  
  
6/9/1997 I saw the most awful thing today. I went into the prep. Room because I had left a file in there, I had been in there watching Sara from the storeroom, I shouldn't have been in there. When I went back to retrieve the file, I heard people coming so I quickly went back into the storeroom, but I left the door open ever so slightly, just like I had when Sara had been there earlier. I was so happy when I saw Sara enter, but she was followed by him, Justin. The man who dismissed my mother's death as a suicide. He spun her around to face him and started yelling at her. She tried to pacify him, she did. She's so understanding and graceful. But he wouldn't listen, he hit her. Again and again and again. He wouldn't stop. She hit the floor and he continued to hit her. Then he used his feet. He put his entire body behind the force of the blows. Sara curled up in pain. She was still pleading with him, asking him to stop. He wouldn't listen, he's evil. He doesn't love her, but I do, and she loves me. Eventually he just stopped and walked out. Sara took a several minutes before standing up. She was in pain, but she was being strong, my Sara is so strong. She puts up with this so that we can be together, she's only biding time, before we can be together.  
  
Sara turned the page over, only to find there were an immeasurable amount of entries about her. They documented Felton breaking into Justin's and her apartment, him following up on the way she worked her cases, the times he had sat in his car watching them fight through the window. He had seen everything. What Sara found more disturbing were the entries about what he did when he was alone. She shuddered.  
  
Sara scanned over these diary entries briefly, she couldn't bare to read them. From what she gathered, he had been a psych trainee at San Francisco, then he followed her when she came to Las Vegas. He had come up with a fictional relationship between them.  
  
Then she came across pictures of her from Vegas. Every case, every week, he's known where I've been. she found photos of her from crime scenes, at the office, he had taken pictures of her at home through the window. Then there were the photos of her and Grissom, and the diary entries that accompanied them.  
  
9/12/02 She's staying at her friend's place, Gil Grissom. He wants something more than platonic, but I know she only cares about him as a friend. I am the only one she loves. That's the problem with working for the same organization, we have to hide our love. Soon we will be away from here, away from those appalling people she works with. They hinder her, she would be so much better without them, all of them. We're going to go far away from here, maybe to Boston, I know she likes Boston and we'll leave all of this behind. If any of them try and stop her, I'll kill them. I'll do anything for my Sara.  
  
Sara's whole body was trembling with disgust. "At her friend's place, Gil Grissom" ". more than platonic" He knew about Gil, what would he do to him? "I'll kill them" Sara stopped worrying about her own life and realized that the people who were the closest thing that she'd ever had to family were at risk too. "Our love.my Sara" The only person who should be calling me that is Grissom, not that maniac on the floor. Oh shit, he's still there, he could wake up any minute, I have to get out of here  
  
Grissom sat at the traffic lights wondering whether he had made the right decision in going to see her. She did leave her mobile behind, but it could be counter-productive to interrupt the session with Dr. Felton Suddenly Grissom realized that the blaring sound was coming from the horn of the car behind him. He put up his hand in a "sorry" gesture and went straight ahead. He was on his way to the CSI building. 


	15. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 Sara placed her file down on the coffee table. She ran through the options in her head. Phone lines are cut, air vents too small, door locked and I don't have my gun. The only option I have is to kill Felton before he kills me... I could never kill a person in cold blood. Sara had always had a problem with killing a person, she didn't think she would be able to live with herself if she did it. I can at least go stand over the body, that way if he wakes up, I'll be able to knock him unconscious again. Grissom will come to pick me up and when he realizes that I'm not out the front to meet him..he'll figure out something is wrong. Sara prayed she was right.  
  
Grissom turned the corner into the parking lot of the CSI building. He pulled into his parking spot and got out of the tahoe. He was just about to grab Sara's mobile phone from the passenger seat when he heard the voice.  
  
'Grissom'  
  
'Ecklie' Grissom sighed as he turned to face his nemesis.  
  
As Sara stood up, a photo fell to the floor. She didn't want to look at it but she bent over to put it on the table with the rest of the details of her life. Sara straightened up, and felt the cord tighten around her neck.  
  
She started gagging, suddenly the cord loosened and Felton's strong hands grabbed her.  
  
'Thought you could get away from me? We're going away together remember, come on we'll go to the airport and book a flight right now, just you and me.'  
  
'Forget it you son of a bitch. I hate you, you're a sicko.'  
  
Felton threw Sara against the wall, then handcuffed her to the gas pipe. Sara struggled desperately. oh God, why did I have to be so stupid. I'm going to die.  
  
Small tears started trickling down her face.  
  
'Don't cry Sara. Just say you love me.'  
  
Sara tried but she couldn't.  
  
'No.'  
  
Felton slapped her across the face.  
  
'Tell me you love me.' Sara remained silent. Felton started hitting her. Sara desperately tried to fight back using her legs. She aimed for his crotch and got it. Felton stumbled back in pain. Sara could feel the blood on her face, then she could taste it.  
  
'Ecklie, what do you want?'  
  
'Come to see your girlfriend Grissom?'  
  
'What?'  
  
'I heard Miss. Sidle was staying with you.'  
  
'So, there was a threat on her life she couldn't be alone.'  
  
'Wouldn't it have been more appropriate for her to stay at Catherine's house.'  
  
'Cath doesn't have a spare bedroom. If you'll excuse me Ecklie, I was going to return Sara's mobile phone.'  
  
'I'm sure that can wait. I mean the phone lines to the office are dead.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'Yeah, I tried to call up there just to see how Sara was doing of course, and the phone lines were dead. Hell, they've probably slipped out for a bit of nookie. She isn't very faithful.' Grissom could feel the anger rising in him, not at Sara, he knew she couldn't do that, but at Ecklie the lying bastard.  
  
'Stop talking right now Ecklie before either one of us says or does something we'll regret.'  
  
'Why, because I'm calling your girlfriend a slut, guess Marjorie Westcott was right.' Ecklie hit the ground hard. Grissom flexed his wrist, all those years of baseball had paid off.  
  
Grissom stepped over Ecklie who was still nursing his possibly broken nose, and headed toward the psych office. Unlike Ecklie, he knew that something was wrong. At first he told himself he was being over protective, but deep down he knew, Sara was in danger.  
  
'Sara, Sara, Sara. I don't think you even remember me. Do you?' Sara remained quiet, too scared to speak.  
  
'Do you?' he screamed. Sara gently nodded her head.  
  
'You're lying. You don't even remember my first name.'  
  
'What do you want from me?' I have to stall him.  
  
'I want you Sara. I remember when we met. You were just beginning work at San Francisco. We were introduced and I knew it was love at first sight.' He bent down and caressed her face. 'But you started going out with him.' Felton stood up hastily and glared down at her.  
  
'Who are you talking about?....Justin?'  
  
'Yes, that bastard. He stole you from me. And his brother, his useless brother, Craig.'  
  
'What does Craig have to do with this.' Sara started to realize that this was more than just a scorned admirer.  
  
'When Craig,' Felton said his name, his seemed to have trouble with it, 'When Craig had to do his gang initiation, you know about those don't you Sara?' Sara's mind immediately flashed back to Pam Adler. 'yes, I know how those work.'  
  
'Craig killed my mother, after beating and raping her. He used sticks, anything that was lying around.'  
  
'I'm sorry.' Sara whispered.  
  
'No, you're not. If you had been sorry, you would have asked me how I was doing. Better yet, you would have caught your boyfriend's brother.'  
  
'I didn't know it was him.'  
  
'Bullshit, you're a good CSI, the evidence had to have been there. but no, you protect your abusive boyfriend's brother instead of helping me. You hate me Sara, and I was a fool to think you loved me. You were just using me, until you could move onto someone else. Well I'm going to kill you, then I'm going to get your precious Grissom. You never should have left me Sara', he was practically spitting now, 'You never should have left me.'  
  
With those words he pulled out a gun from his desk and pointed it at Sara. She closed her eyes, half expecting to see her life flash before her eyes, instead she saw only Grissom. Then she realized she would never see him again. A tear floated gently down her cheek, 'Goodbye Gil, I love you.'  
  
She had barely finished speaking when the sound of two gunshots rang through the air. 


	16. Chapter 18

Here is chapter 18. please R+R, Thankyou to those who have, and also to Geena my beta. They aren't mine I just put them in bizarre situations. This is my first fic so plz review.  
  
Chapter 18 Sara felt the first bullet graze her neck. She didn't feel a second one, but Felton did. He had doubled over, a clear bullet hole slicing through his skin, past his kidney, and out his back. His knees hit the floor with a heavy thud.  
  
Sara opened her eyes and looked at Felton. Her neck was throbbing, but she had heard Felton's cries. She saw her attacker moaning on the floor, his hands desperately trying to stop the bleeding by applying pressure to his wound. Sara slowly looked across the room, towards the door, to see Grissom, still holding his gun. He seemed shocked. Then she looked closely and saw that the emotions running through his eyes resembled anger.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Grissom stared at the man he had just shot. A man he had trusted the love of his life to. He had never felt this kind of hatred for another human being before, and if he was honest with himself, it scared him. He broke out of his self-induced trance to see Sara, handcuffed to the gas pipe, tears running down her face, staring at him. He lowered his gun, ran over and uncuffed her. Then he took her in his arms, holding her, trying to make their pain go away.  
  
Slowly, he pulled away and looked into her eyes. She was so beautiful, so perfect, she was Sara. He never wanted to let go of her again. She leaned up and kissed him. As she pulled away, he saw her neck. He hadn't realized she had been hit. The blood wasn't stopping. His stomach churned. He had never seen someone he loved bleeding before.  
  
'Sara, you're bleeding does it hurt?'  
  
'A little.'  
  
'I'm going to call an ambulance.' Sara tried to nod her head but stopped as she felt the pain searing outward from her gash. Grissom didn't fail to notice this.  
  
Grissom called the ambulance and turned back to Sara.  
  
'It's going to be ok.'  
  
'I know Grissom. I love you.' He was shocked. He had heard the words before, long ago, but never like this.  
  
'I love you too Sara and I'm not going anywhere, neither are you.'  
  
'Gris if the ambulance doesn't get here.'  
  
'Since when does Sara Sidle give up?'  
  
'But.'  
  
'No buts. I love you Sara, and you are going to hear those words every day for the rest of our lives, and our lives are not going to end today.'  
  
Sara had always been stubborn and untrusting. She doubted if she had ever fully trusted anyone, after Justin. But as she looked into his eyes, she believed and trusted him.  
  
'Grissom, you know how you asked me if I could trust you.'  
  
'Yes.' He tried to hide the trepidation in his voice.  
  
'I trust you, completely.' She smiled one of the smiles that lit up his world. No more words needed to be said, they understood each other completely.  
  
The ambulance officers came barging through the door that Grissom had already beaten down. They asked him to step back, asked her several questions before bandaging her neck and loading her on to the stretcher. But even though they had forced Grissom further away from her so they could do their jobs, they couldn't break their eye contact.  
  
Grissom rode with Sara to the hospital. The ambulance officers had taken one look at Felton's dead body and called the crime lab. Grissom didn't say anything. Although he did wonder how the day shift was going to process a scene when Ecklie had a broken nose. 


	17. Chapter 19

Chapter 19  
  
Grissom sat in a plastic chair in the hospital corridor outside Emergency Room. He could feel the weight of his head in his hands. He wanted to cry. He had never wanted to cry before. But he couldn't, he was still in shock, still denying the seriousness of Sara's injuries.  
  
Nick almost killed an intern as he ran around the corner. Catherine and Warrick were close behind him. Nick approached Grissom.  
  
'God Grissom, I am so sorry.' Nick wailed as he collapsed to his knees next to Grissom's chair.  
  
'For what Nick, I sent her to Felton.'  
  
'I suggested it, I made the appointment.' Catherine placed a hand on Nick's back. She understood how hard this must be for him. To Nick Stokes, Sara was a little sister. Big brothers are supposed to protect their baby sisters, and instead he had led her to the guy wanting to kill her. When Nick seemed to get a hold of himself, she motioned to Warrick to stay with him, and she turned her attention to Grissom.  
  
Warrick led Nick over to a chair on the other side of the room so that Cath could talk to Grissom alone.  
  
'What happened Gil?'  
  
'God Cath, I should have realized sooner. I knew Felton had worked in San Francisco when I hired him. I should have put two and two together. And I didn't, and now Sara could die.'  
  
'Hold on, I thought you said the bullet only grazed her neck.'  
  
'It went deeper than I thought. Not too deep, but it could have nicked the carotid artery. She trusts me Catherine. She loves me.'  
  
Catherine sat up straight, she was so happy for them, finally admitting their feelings. She just hoped that it hadn't been too late. She looked down at Grissom's shirt. There were handmarks on his back where Sara had held him, and traces of blood on his face. Catherine prayed that Sara would survive so that Grissom could have at least one more chance to say I love you, and that Sara would be able to do the same.  
  
The surgeon exited the ER.  
  
'Are you the family of Miss Sidle?'  
  
'Yes.' They answered together.  
  
'She's going to be fine. A blood vessel was nicked but it wasn't the one that supplied blood to the brain, so she will make a full recovery.' They all breathed a sigh of relief. Yet when Grissom looked up he saw the look of apprehension on the doctors' face.  
  
'Can we see her?' asked Nick. Nick only believed it was real if you saw it, he wanted to see that Sara was ok with his own eyes.  
  
'There is something you should know first. We think that she has suffered some kind of memory loss. She will not remember who she is, or who any of you are. She won't remember the events of the last week or so. But it is temporary, just don't push her. She'll be frustrated enough as it is. You may see her now.' The doctor motioned towards the doorway behind him and on his right.  
  
After all that's happened in the past few days, she won't remember any of it. We will be back at square one, taking part in a hopeless dance that I've already completed. What do I do? Do I tell her what has happened and leave her to draw her own conclusions. That'd be great, she wouldn't even remember me and I would be expecting her to believe we had confessed our love a few hours ago. No, that would be unfair, it would put too much pressure and guilt on her. But am I supposed to just pretend nothing happened until she remembers. What if she remembers, but doesn't believe it? Or is angry at me for not telling her the truth? Or worse, what if she never remembers?  
  
His thoughts stopped suddenly as he realized he was at the door of Sara's room. Catherine, Warrick and Nick had already gone in. He felt frozen, it was rare for Gil Grissom not to at least have a vague idea of what he was doing, but right now, he had no idea how to handle the situation.  
  
So he walked in and looked into her eyes, searching for a memory, a flicker of hope that Sara was still there and still loved him. He knew he was being stupid, Sara was lucky to be alive, and the memory loss, no matter how hard for all of them, was only temporary. He continued to stare into her eyes, and then she turned her gaze from the others who had entered before him, and returned his look with startling clarity. It almost looked like recognition...almost.  
  
'Hi, Sara', Catherine spoke first, 'The doctor told you we were your friends, and co-workers. Didn't he?'  
  
Sara nodded. Still looking at the older man standing behind the rest of them.  
  
'Well, I'm Catherine, this is Nick and Warrick.'  
  
'Sara, I'm so glad you're ok.'  
  
'Yeah, you're going to remember us soon, don't worry about it.'  
  
Sara didn't know what to say. She had immediately noticed that Catherine had not introduced the other man. The one who she felt something for. She didn't remember him, but she felt something. God this is frustrating.  
  
Catherine realized that Sara's eyes hadn't left Grissom. She decided that it was best to let them have a moment alone together, Sara had to know, Catherine just hoped that Grissom would be able to conquer his fears and tell her.  
  
'Nick, Warrick, lets give Sara a moment ok.'  
  
Nick realized what was going on as he saw Cath's eyes wander to Grissom momentarily. Warrick was about to object when he felt Nick steer him out the door.  
  
'We'll be back later Sara, ok.'  
  
Grissom stared at Sara. She still had that sparkle in her eyes. The one he thought about when he went to sleep at night, the one he saw as her eyes fluttered in the ambulance. He could look at her forever.  
  
Sara met his gaze with equal force, despite the weakness in her body. She knew him, she just couldn't remember him. Why do I remember him and no-one else?  
  
Sara broke the inevitable silence that had settled around them.  
  
'Who are you?'  
  
'Umm, my name is Gil Gris..'  
  
'Don't give me the auto pilot answer, tell me who you are, what you like, why I have this feeling that I know you, even though the other three people who were in here are complete strangers. Who are you?'  
  
Grissom paused for a moment.  
  
'Sara.I...'  
  
tbc. I need a certain amount of reviews for the next section.*hint hint*, ok what should grissom tell her? What do you want to happen coz I've got nothing! So review! 


	18. Chapter 20

A/N's: argh...drama assignment for NIDA. have to do a monologue...actually if anyone can give me acting tips for Viola's monologue after she gets the ring, that would be wonderful! no notes for this section tho!  
  
see other chapters for stuff like rating etc...  
  
Chapter 20  
  
Sara broke the inevitable silence that had settled around them.  
  
'Who are you?'  
  
'Umm, my name is Gil Gris..'  
  
'Don't give me the auto pilot answer, tell me who you are, what you like, why I have this feeling that I know you, even though the other three people who were in here are complete strangers. Who are you?'  
  
Grissom paused for a moment.  
  
'Sara.I...' Grissom's thoughts flooded back to their time together over the past few days.  
  
~~~~~ 'Since you won't tell me why you left, I can't figure out what this guy is trying to tell you.'  
  
'He's telling me he knows my secrets, that he has control and power.'  
  
'You're still not going to tell me about Justin?'  
  
'No'  
  
'Alright', Grissom knew it was pointless to keep arguing with Sara, 'The spare bedroom is down that hall on the right, get some sleep Sara.'  
  
'Goodnight Grissom.' ~ I was starting to get worried. She had insisted I stay in the car, she'd be angry if I came up. Oh well, I'm bound to piss her off today, it might as well be now.  
  
'Sara'.  
  
Even though her back was turned I can see that she is shaking and I can hear her almost silent sobs. Slowly, I walked up and put MY arms around her. At first she froze, then she realized who it was and allowed herself to be comforted.  
  
'It's ok, I'm not going to let anything happen to you, it's ok.' Sara didn't stop crying, but she turned around to face me. She buried her head in my chest and slowly the shaking lessened. I gently stroked her hair, noticing the smoothness of it.  
  
'It's ok, everything's ok'. ~ 'What did he mean about the way Justin treated you?'  
  
'Justin had a temper. He was fairly..volatile.'  
  
'He hit you, didn't he?' ~ 'Sara, Sara, are you ok in there.' Go away she sobbed silently.  
  
'Come on, talk to me.'  
  
'No, go away, get away.'  
  
'You can trust me.' Grissom listened closely to the door.  
  
'No, not again, not again Justin.'  
  
What? Oh God, she's having flashbacks, thought Grissom, and she was locked in a bathroom.  
  
'Sara, open the door or I'm going to break it down.' Great Grissom, she already thinks you're Justin, no need to go fuelling the fire. But I don't have much choice, I can't leave her in there, she could do anything.  
  
'Sara, Sara, it's ok. It's me, he can't hurt you.' ~ Just as he turned to head back though, Sara appeared at his door. He instantly felt guilty for leaving her. He had made a promise.  
  
'Sara, I am so sorry. I got a call from..' Before he could even finish his sentence Sara had run up to him and held him in a strong embrace. He slowly responded and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
This feels so right, to hold her like this. I always thought, if it ever happened, if I ever reached out to her, that it would be awkward and uncomfortable. But it isn't, it is perfect, she is perfect, no they are perfect He knew he would never forget this moment, he wanted it to last forever. He couldn't stand the thought of her pulling away. ~ 'You know you can trust me right?'  
  
'Yes'  
  
'Don't lie to me.' Sara walked away from him No, please don't tell me I'm losing her  
  
Sara took a deep breath in, and turned to face Grissom from the other side of the room.  
  
'I love you Grissom.' Both of them were startled by this admission.  
  
'I love you too, but do you trust me?'  
  
'I want to. And most of me trusts you with my life, the logical part does, even most of the emotional part. But there is that little bit of me that can't help but think- there was a time when I would have trusted Justin with my life, there was a time when I loved him too.' Grissom didn't know what to say to that. How do I answer that? I love her, and she's telling me she loves me, but she can't trust me, will she ever be able to trust me? How can I ever get her to trust me? Or would to even try be to fight a losing battle? There as to be something I can do. We'll deal with these problems together, and hopefully she'll learn to trust me. ~~~~~~~~  
  
Grissom snapped back from his memories, the ones she didn't have. He looked around the hospital, the formality - how he and Sara used to act around each other, and he realized that he couldn't go back to how they were. If she was ever going to love him, he had to be honest with her.  
  
'Sara, I love you. We've only been..together for well, not long.and nothing formal but, you have told me that you love me..you loved me.'  
  
Sara didn't really hear anything past "Sara, I love you". She stared into the man's eyes. She gazed at their almost impossible blue shade, they were so different to hers in colour, yet so similar to hers in impact. We're similar, but different - we're perfect.  
  
She hadn't responded and Grissom was losing his nerve.  
  
'I'll give you some privacy if you want, Sara. I'm not expecting anything and I understand if you've changed your mind.'  
  
With that Grissom stole one last glace at his love and headed towards the door..  
  
She realized she had to say something, she realized that he needed to know that she still had those feelings, even if she couldn't remember why.  
  
'Grissom, I know you, I love you...and I trust you.'  
  
With that sentence she had conquered the toughest hurdle in their relationship. No matter what had happened in her life, he was the only person that mattered. Not Justin or Felton. Just them.  
  
Grissom's breath remained stuck in his throat. He sprinted back to her bedside and gave her the most passionate, sensual, caring kiss that either one of them had ever experienced.  
  
That kiss acted like a flood gate in her mind. The images of him came flooding back. Their first meeting at Harvard, that phone call that brought her here.and their first kiss.  
  
She remembered why she loved him, why she couldn't live without him  
  
So does this story continue with the aftermath etc, or do I leave it here? Its up to you.You have the power...*(hiding now)* and email me at aussie_chick@email.com if you can help with the "Viola" monologue (tips etc) it's a long shot but what the hell! R+R plz 


	19. Chapter 21

A/N's thankyou to the amazing reviewers, all of you. You made this worth while, *feel like I'm on Oprah now LOL* thanks to Geena, Karen and the insane..i mean fantastic ppl in the strip.you know who you are! And thanks to Amy. Riverstar is the amazing author of CSI's of the Round Table...go read it!  
  
Chapter 21  
  
'Sara, do you remember any of the other guys, anything about what happened to you?'  
  
Sara just shook her head and leaned in for another kiss. "And who am I to refuse her?" he thought.  
  
His hand reached out to stroke the side of her face. It felt like Velvet under his fingers. He loved that feeling. Her hands gripped his biceps as his hand strayed further, entangling itself in her silky hair. His lips felt drawn to her's. When they touched, he could feel a tingling reaching from his throat to his groin. The kiss deepened as she opened her lips to welcome his tongue into her warm, inviting mouth. Grissom could feel, more than hear, her low moan of longing.  
  
They were interrupted by the doctor coming back into the room.  
  
'Sorry, if I was interrupting something, but I thought you'd like to know Miss Sidle may go home tomorrow if she does not work until she gets her memory back, and there is someone to look after her all the time.' The doctor looked directly at Grissom when he made that last remark, in return he gave a smile and nodded.  
  
'Well, I'll deal with the paperwork then.' The doctor left that room, traces of his blushing still evident from the intrusion.  
  
'But, Grissom. Don't get me wrong. I want to get out of here but you have to work and I cannot remember anyone else, at least not yet.'  
  
'Sara, you're more important than work. I had my vacation coming up anyway.'  
  
'Are you sure?'  
  
'Of course Sara. Besides, Cath will enjoy the chance to be in charge for a week.  
  
Sara took this information in, and couldn't disguise the look of shock on her face. I mean here was someone claiming to be a friend and by Grissom's own omission, she just wanted to be in charge.  
  
Grissom could see the wheels turning in her brain. 'Sara, I was just joking with that last comment.'  
  
'Oh. Sorry, it's just.'  
  
'You've got nothing to be sorry for.'  
  
'Can you tell me about them.'  
  
'Nick, Cath and Warrick?'  
  
'Yes'  
  
'Well, Cath is a mother, her daughter's name is Lindsay. She's a former stripper and her sense of humour is well..a little different. Warrick is a former gambler. He's a good friend to you, very smart. He likes kids a lot. Nick is from Texas, he eats meat, which is always a teasing point between you two. He's probably the closest thing you've got to a brother, and you're his little sister.'  
  
Sara continued to ask questions about everything well into the night. They talked about Vegas, California, what Grissom knew about her. Everything except why she was in here, everything except Felton.  
  
The day After  
  
Grissom took Sara back to his place. He had realized that the night before they had not mentioned Felton or Justin. He had to tell her, she couldn't just remember them and what had happened to her out of the blue. The problem was he didn't even know exactly what Felton had done to her, if she asked questions, he wouldn't be able to answer them. She would be left to imagine awful things because neither of them knew the truth. He wondered what was worse. She needs fair warning. But how do I tell her?  
  
Sara put down the clothes Grissom had gotten from her place in his bedroom..our bedroom. Grissom was getting some food for them, she hadn't eaten anything at the hospital, she doubted that a child in a third world country would eat that food. Something was bothering her though. Her body remembered only two emotions, pure love for the man who was in the house with her, caring for her, and loving her back.  
  
And pure hate, but she did not know who this hate was directed at. It could be anyone. Sara tried desperately to push it to the back of her mind, not before coming to the conclusion that whoever that hatred was directed at, was probably the reason why she couldn't remember. She pushed her worries to the back of head, and convinced herself to be normal, whatever that was. I loathe this. Have I been here before? Have I slept with him before? Sara looked down at the bed and could not help but form an idea. Well if I can't remember, even if it's temporary, I should make new memories. I doubt Grissom will mind helping me. A sensual smile lingered on her lips, and she removed her shoes. (When Grissom returned to the bedroom with her plate of food, he was surprised to find the room seemingly empty.  
  
"Sara, where are you?" he called, perplexed.  
  
"Turn around and you'll see me." He jumped a little, startled by the voice behind his back. He was even more startled after he turned. There was Sara, wrapped in a sheet. And only a sheet, from what he could see.  
  
"Uh, Sara . . . ?" he whispered. "What's up?"  
  
"I can't remember anything, but I want to make new memories. I only want to think about you . . . about us. Can you help me do that?" she replied with a sweet smile.  
  
His eyes swept over her, taking in the choclatey brown hue of her hair,her big brown eyes now wide with desire, her luscious lips, and felt his body responding. But his concern for her physical well-being was forefront in his mind.  
  
"Are you sure? I mean, you just got out of the hospital. You should probably be resting . . ."  
  
Sara walked over to him and took the plate from his hand, setting it down on the nearby dresser. Turning back to him, she cupped his cheek with her hand, unconsciously mimicing a move she had made years before. He caught his breath at the memory, wondering if she remembered as well. Slowly she stroked his face, staring into the beautiful blue eyes all the while. She leaned forward and placed a long, slow, sweet kiss on his mouth. His knees suddenly felt weak. His own hands slid around her waist for support, as the room started to spin. After several minutes, Sara broke contact.  
  
"I'm sure." was all she said, as she led him towards the bed.  
  
The Next Morning  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ Sara woke up. She lay in bed, a feeling of happiness flowing over her. Why was she so happy? She only had to look over at the other side of the bed to answer that question. Grissom lay there, sleeping heavily after his exertions of the night before. Her own body ached, but she didn't mind. She cuddled next to Grissom, molding her body to his, as sleep overtook her. Memories of the night before began to filter through her mind - the roughness of his 5-o'clock shadow against her face, the taste of his mouth on hers, the gentleness of his hands cupping her mound, bringing her to climax. And then the memory of his mounting her, his hardness delving deep into her, causing them both to gasp in surprise at the feelings. She smiled at the memories as she slipped back into slumber.  
  
Sara next awoke with a start some several minutes later. Her breathing was heavy. She sat up in confusion. Where was she? She looked around and noticed her clothes had been torn and thrown hapharzedly across the room. She noticed some bruises on her arms, they looked old but she couldn?t be sure, and the scratch marks. She felt completely vulnerable.  
  
Then the memories hit her. The ripped shirt that had come off the night before triggered the first memories, of Felton ripping open her shirt.  
  
Sara's breathing increased ten-fold, her eyes darted, hands traveled across her body in a defensive gesture. Why do I have to remember this? ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Grissom woke up. The figure next to him was sitting upright, her body language ? not quite readable. Grissom?s first thought was that she regretted it, that was the worst thing he could imagine. Until he saw the fear in her eyes, he knew that that look could not be from him. He sat up quickly, gently searching Sara for answers through his eyes and body.  
  
'Sara. Talk to me.'  
  
'He, he was so'  
  
'Felton?' Sara nodded. Her eyes were still darting around the bedroom. Her hands protecting her chest. Grissom could see she was remembering. He held her in his arms and almost instantly the trembling stopped. After several minutes he spoke.  
  
'What did he do?'  
  
'He was going to. To', I say this so often at work, I never thought I would have to say it like this though, 'He touched me. He ripped open my shirt and..'  
  
'It's ok Sara'. Grissom said soothingly, holding her, smoothing her hair, planting tiny kisses on her neck and face.  
  
'He didn't though. You got there in time. He didn't.'  
  
Sara pulled away from the embrace. At first Grissom panicked but when he realized that she just wanted to look him in the eyes he calmed.  
  
There was an unspoken knowledge that together, they were ok. That together they were perfect. It wasn't going to be easy, but nothing in life ever was, especially love. They loved each other, and like so many other time in their lives, they didn't need to say it out loud to know that it was true. ~ ~ ~ ~ 


End file.
